My family analysis

The Dixson-Pugh Clan!

Unit One

My definition of family: Family is people you can count on when you are likable and when you are not; when you are smart and when you are stupid. They will be there when you want them (and, sometimes, when you don't). They are people you love and trust.

My family: My family consists of my son, Lance, my daughter, Lindsay, and my fiance, Al. We enjoy doing things together and apart. For instance, we often go out to dinner and we try to do at least one family trip a year (we are in Mont Tremblant, Quebec in the above picture. But, we also each do our own thing.

For instance, I build dollhouses and love football.

My son enjoys riding his motorcyleand

my daughter is an amateur photographer. .

While we are doing our things, Al drives his car, very fast, around lots of race tracks!

Cohesion, adaptability, metaphors, boundaries, and themes

Cohesion: I believe my family is somewhere between separated and connected. We pretty much do our own things and live our own lives (separate jobs, three residences since Al and Lindsay both have their own places, separate hobbies), but we know we can count on each other if needed, we hug and tell each other "I love you" often, and we do both routine (at least 4-6 times a week I have meals with one or two members of my family and once a week or so we all get together for a meal, movie, to watch football etc.) and "special" events (family vacations, birthday outings) together.

Adaptability: We definitely fall under the "flexible" category of adaptability, given the age of my children. We make decisions which affect others through negotiation, and roles and rules have changed quite a bit since they were younger. I have learned to become extremely flexible since I never know when one of their schedules is going to be free and they will want to have lunch or dinner or stop by to watch a show or work on some project. So, when Al and the kids are busy, I try to get my work done so I can be free when they are (I have the most flexible work schedule of all of us).

Metaphors: Maybe the best metaphor I can think of for our family is a bees nest! There is a lot of coming and going. People generally know what they need to do and do it with little interference from others.We are all working toward the good of the family but in our own independent ways (definitely not a hive mentality, I guess). And, I'm the queen bee! (: Also, you can occasionally get stung in our family since while we get along almost all of the time, once in a while arguments erupt and the kids and I are pretty vocal - wonder where they got that from (:

Boundaries: We have fairly permeable boundaries in terms of discussing what is going on in the world, new ideas etc. However, we have more impermeable boundaries as far as who is allowed "in" the family. Friends etc. are welcomed to our home, but inclusion in the family is a different story altogether. A boyfriend/girlfriend or close friend has to be around for about a year before we start thinking of including him/her on family trips and the ritual of meeting the extended family. I suspect that is because when I divorced, the kids (especially my son) and I had a kind of "If we stick together, we will be fine." attitude which has stuck over the years.

Themes: The above "If we stick together, we will be fine" is probably the prevailing theme of our family. While we are very independent, we are also very protective of each other (and our dogs). Another theme might be "dogs are people too" since we tend to treat them as members of the family - there are few rooms they are not allowed in, they are allowed on the furniture (they can see TV better from there) and I cook them bacon every morning (here they are patiently waiting).